Happy, Sad, Whatever...

Ni revise ko lang yun homily ni Father sa Mass nina John last Wednesday. I am just having mixed emotions today.

Happy.

Coz today, another friend of mine will say "I do" to her boyfriend of more than 10 years. Whew! Bigatin di ba?

Sad.

I am attending the said event without Popoy.

Happy.

The reason why he cannot accompany me for the said "once in a lifetime event" of our dear friend is that he received "Silver Award" for a report he submitted to their mother company in Japan. Yehey! This will be held at Bellevue Hotel in Alabang. Tama ba ang spelling ko ng hotel na un?

Sad.

I have been asking him ever since we have known the exact date of the wedding and promised me that he will be there. And that only yesterday. He confirmed that he will not be able to attend.

I am hurted. For a fact that when his boss, asked him to choose between being with me to go to the wedding and attending the said award's night. HE CHOOSES TO ATTEND THE AWARD'S NIGHT. He kept on saying "Sorry". Ala daw siyang magagawa. I cannot determine if I am just being childish and stubborn. Insisting to myself that I should be the one to be chosen. I do not want to limit his decision but in my heart, I still feel the need to be taken cared of..especially that I am on my 37th week. Whew! Call me inconsiderate, but this did not happen only once. It happened many times. Choosing between staying with workmates or fetching/accompanying me. Hay...I had no doubt if He really loves me or not. But It is that kind of importance I need to feel.

But then again, for the benefit of my BABY NHOJ, who is bound to fill my lonely day with laughters and is cheering me up by making some groovy moves inside my big tummy. I shall post this pic of mine as I celebrate my 26th year here on earth. Yipee!

Maybe. Just Maybe. Tomorrow will be a "Happy Mode" day since there will be a double celebration as I bid bye bye to my wonderful 25th year and Little Johnny as he graduates Grades School and enters High School.

But whatever happens, it is still us that decides on how we shall deal with negative emotions, and that is turning this bad chi into a good one.

That is Power Thinking! Have a great weekend everyone!