Thoughts about Working

Here I am again, actually I have a lot of things to share the day I started working. I really felt that this is a blessing and it is God's plan that I am working for my current company.

But, the very first week I worked here, I had lots of doubts. A big bunch of doubts. I have questioned the fairness on working. As I always am telling to my self and had put this as one of my principles in life, I really want as much as possible to have an unbiased working environment wherein I can initiate my action without any hesitations.

Now, this is what fills my mind everyday before I go to work. Am I being that competitive to my teammates? It is though a fact that I felt it that I am. I am scared about it because I am not the type of person. Working for me is a vocation. Somehow, because I choose my profession, not because in due time I will be earning a lot specially that I have the advantage of having the license, but because I am enjoying it. I have also prayed that if ever I am accepted in a company, I wish to have spread something worthy. This is what bothers me. As much as I want to have the same atmosphere like the team I have before, I am a failure with this. It is what I said to my Star Team when I left them. It is easy to have work, choose the company who offers the greatest benefit. But what is important to me is that you work well and enjoy every single moment of it. Now, I admit I do not have the luxury of choosing the best people to work with. It is because when I left my team, I continously crave for the same bonding which eventually is not within my team right now.

Yes, I am not happy with what is going on. I really changed my perspective with that. It is a reality that I will never be able to have the same kind of team bonding before but I can start molding them slowly. One bite at a time. The fact is, they are not willing and I really feel stupid. I don't have any personal issues with them. It is only that I find them competitive, like what an employee from other country has said. Make some bond. Beyond the scope of work and the stress and hassles it brings. Hay..I know that it must start with the head..and I am not in the position. We differ and it matters. Maybe in time, haha..I will have the power (hehe) and motivation. And that is what I promise. Fair environment. Good Competition. An area for growth and development. Right exposure. The best camaraderie that I had with the people I had been through.

Will that be impossible. Huh? Nothing is impossible to those who are willing. I just wish and pray that I could start now, if not, I will be the one who will be the first to give up the rope. =(